


A Sinking Ship

by SucculentStrawberries



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Accidental wetting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Clothed Wetting, Comfort, Crying, Dacryphilia, Desperation, Friendship, Gen, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Makoto is my fav why did i do this to her i'm mean, Omorashi, Panic Attacks, Persona 5 Spoilers, Wetting, everyone is super stressed by this point so some of them do get snippy, i hope this fic is coherent bc i've been working on bits and pieces for months, tagging that since there is crying, the comfort tags come in the 2nd chapter so sorry she's gonna hurt for this one, this is the 7th palace so look out for spoilers, you're not allowed to piss in palaces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 18:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14142141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SucculentStrawberries/pseuds/SucculentStrawberries
Summary: That's what this is...a sinking ship. No matter how hard you try to stay ahead of the game, no matter how desperately you claw to stay above the water...the ocean is closing in, choking out whatever air you try to breathe, dragging you under...you're going to fail. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you fight back...you're all going down...You can't stop a flood.





	A Sinking Ship

**Author's Note:**

> Once again my summary is dramatic af so in case you didn't read the tags I'd like to clarify: This is a piss fic. This is just Makoto pissing herself. I'm not sorry. (Well, maybe a little, because Best Girl does not need to suffer this much, she needs support and love. One day I'll make up for this with a really fluffy, not-mortifying omo fic of her where she maybe enjoys it idk. That day is not today.)
> 
> This does have spoilers for the late game plot and Alvin & the Chipmunk Movie Villain's Palace, fair warning.
> 
> This thing was so long it almost crashed the thing I use to write on, I had to cut half of it and paste into another document just to get it to save geez. The second chapter will come later, I've got part of it written out already that I moved over when I had to cut this for a clean stopping point, and I'll be chipping away at the rest later.
> 
> Also Futaba isn't in the swimsuit plan of Ryuji's because my memory was faulty and then when I realized my mistake I'd already written the entire scene and didn't feel like redoing it to fit her in. But given how this goes, it doesn't actually matter lol

The soft classical music and gentle murmurs of laughter and conversation should have been a nice change of pace, but the clanking of champagne glasses that were interspersed with the sound were just taunting her. Each glass being refilled as yet another waiter paused at the tables surrounding theirs' had her pressing her thighs together under the table. Stuck for conversation topics as they sat there, Ryuji made a joke about one of the action comics they'd started reading together in their free time, and she snorted for a split second before she pressed a hand over her mouth, trying desperately to quell the giggles that kept threatening to break the stiff control she was struggling to maintain over her abdominal muscles. It might have been easier if she wasn't so dreadfully nervous, and her cheeks were extremely warm by the time she managed to regain her more serious nature.  
  
"Shh, stop it! We can't afford to get thrown out of here for causing a scene!"  
  
"Relax, we ain't causin' a scene." The blonde had rolled his eyes, leaning back slightly in his chair. "All the fake people around us are chucklin' with each other, so why can't we have a little fun?"  
  
"They're alright because they're _supposed_ to be here. The waiters won't take notice of them. However, we already stand out here, so it's critical that we don't draw any extra attention to ourselves. Let's just...sit calmly until our order is taken. Alright?"  
  
"Yeah yeah, whatever ya' say..." Ryuji grumbled, folding his arms on the table and trying not to slouch too much. "You're a borin' date, Miss Prez..." he whispered under his breath. He seemed to have meant it in equal parts serious and joking.   
  
Glancing away from him to scan the room, she finally gave in and crossed her legs under the fancy tablecloth until they were all twisted up, taking care to only breathe through her nose instead of gasping like her body was urging her to. It had taken a terribly long time to figure out how to infiltrate this restaurant, running through all manner of hoops and backtracking several times over as they put together what pieces they needed for their plan. All of this for only _one_ signature, and there were still more to go after this debacle! But they couldn't afford to mess anything up now, not after all they'd been through. She had to keep Ryuji from blowing their cover here, and keep her own behavior in check as well.  
  
Despite the sensible part of her begging otherwise, she found herself glancing across the room towards the restroom door anyways, staring for a few moments before she was forced to avert her eyes. She'd already explained to Ryuji that, much like everything else in this Palace, the restaurant was entirely a figment of Shido's cognition, especially the delectable-looking food that the boy had so longingly gone on about wanting to consume. As such, it was an unfortunate fact that none of the many facilities she'd seen throughout the boat's different areas were useable (she even had evidence to support that hypothesis, considering the stories their leader had told her about Madarame's museum when he was filling her in on the group's activities before she'd joined). It was a cruel joke, but one that she was going to remain the punchline of until they'd finished all of their business here. They were running on such a strict timeline now, and every move they made, every infiltration they scheduled, every day they took off to gather supplies or train...none of it could be wasted. They couldn't make a single mistake this late in the game, unless they wanted Akira, and the entire country-no, _the world,_ to pay the consequences. It was the reason she'd forgone taking care of any personal matters today during her brief period of free time between finishing up her work in the Student Council Room and meeting up at The Hideout, choosing instead to spend that half hour organizing all of their items and going over their plans for a final checklist before they went in.  
  
Every moment counted, both in and out of the Palace. She had no regrets about her choice earlier, no matter the discomfort she was now facing as a result. She was not going to put their entire mission in jeopardy and pull everyone out of the Palace early _just to take a restroom break.  
  
_ "My apologies for keeping you waiting. What would you care to order this fine evening?~"  
  
She barely managed to avoid flinching at the sudden voice of the waiter that had snuck up to the table, a spike of urgency throbbing between her legs. "O-Oh, um, that's quite alright. I'll have..." She reached for the menu, grateful that it hid her grimace as she shifted to cross her legs the other way. "I'll have the sautéed foie gras, a salad garnished with truffles, and roasted lamb, please." It was with great effort that she'd managed to keep her voice calm and unfaltered, but she folded the menu and placed it on top of Ryuji's, aiming a polite smile at the waiter.  
  
"And for you, sir?"  
  
Distantly, she heard him grumble something to himself about not being able to read the menu. "Uhhh, ya' got steak? I'll take that I guess, medium-rare. With one of them fancy bones inside. And uh, a small salad."  
  
The waiter eyeballed him with not-even-veiled distaste, clenching his pen tightly while he wrote down their orders. He plucked up their menus, then turned and walked away without a word, and they were left to themselves again.  
  
"I can't believe you can order so easily like that, with all those fancy names...I had no clue what half of that stuff was..." he muttered, resting one elbow on the table as he laid his chin in his hand. "Say, ain't we kinda young compared to the others here? They're all involved with Shido, yeah?"  
  
They'd already gone over most of this during the group briefing, but she supposed, as usual, Ryuji required a bit of extra clarification. If it wasn't for her current troubles wearing at her patience, she might have been more willing to give him a longer lecture to ensure he truly understood, but instead she scooted her chair closer with a slight sigh (if only to have an excuse to fidget in her seat under the pretense of getting comfortable).   
  
"Well, they seem to be major figures in the political and financial worlds. It makes sense that Shido would only think of those he associates with as patrons in a restaurant like this. He isn't exactly fond of children or teenagers, as you understand from your and Akira's encounter in the hotel that one time."  
  
"Yeah, I guess. But-"  
  
Before he could finish his sentence, two tall men in suits and masks had arrived, the first cutting him off with clear irritation in his voice. "On who's permission are you sitting there, brats?"  
  
Ryuji raised his eyebrows, turning to look at him. "Whose? Uhhh, I don't see any reserved signs or nothing here."  
  
The man's voice didn't change, but his eyebrows drew closer together, fixing them both with a firm gaze. "It'd be a nuisance if you'd make a racket next to my table. I wish to dine leisurely. Children like you who're simply hungry should leave."  
  
It had taken her a moment to process the interaction properly, staying silent while she scrutinized the man and his follower, but she was sure now.  
  
_This has to be him. It must be..._  
  
Before she could part her lips though, Ryuji had lunged to stand, the table rattling as he shoved himself and his chair backwards. His fist was raised, and he fixed the man with a glare of his own. "What was that...?"  
_  
Why is it always straight to fighting with you?!?_ It took a large portion of her control to keep her own fury under wraps instead of immediately snapping at the boy, and the rest of her control was focused on standing up slowly, keeping her legs pressed together and maintaining the appearance of composure as she locked eyes with Ryuji. "Skull, be quiet!" It was said quietly, but her tone was enough to carry her authority as he flinched, scrambling to sit back down and ducking his head.  
  
"S-Sorry..."  
  
With her 'date' silenced, she turned to face the man, bowing low. The movement only served to add more pressure to an already painful area, and she was forced to keep her lips sealed tight against the whimper that threatened to escape. Plastering a look of the utmost respect on her face, she stood back up. "I apologize for our discourtesy."  
  
The man did not seem impressed in the slightest, remaining stoic as he stared her down. "If you understand, then go home."  
  
_We won't be leaving that easily. Time to turn up the charm._ "Excuse me, but might you be Mr. Ooe?"  
  
"Indeed I am."  
  
_I knew it._ "This will be an impudent request, but would you provide us a letter of introduction to...Mr. Shido?"  
  
~~~  
  
_Damn it.  
  
_ Apparently her diplomatic skills weren't enough. Things had seemed to go so smoothly, even with her thoughts half trained on something else, but once the subject of the principal and all that went on after it had come up...after that _entire conversation,_ they were still going to have to fight this monster...  
  
Backing up, she took on a defensive position, glancing past Ooe to call out to the other side of the room. "Everyone, now!"   
  
Joker and Noir had swarmed out from under some tables in an instant, bolting to join her and Skull, while Panther, Mona and Fox had begun slowly sneaking around with Oracle, taking cover near the large piano off to the side while they waited to provide support.   
  
The hydra was flailing around already, individual heads knocking chairs and tables flying in every direction as it hissed and screeched, sharp fangs flashing whenever one of its mouths opened. Joker had leapt off of one of the chairs as it flew by, using it as a platform to lunge towards one of its heads with Arsene's Cane raised, striking it hard before he fell to the ground and rolled, just barely missing the creature's counter attack. Skull had taken off immediately after, calling for Seiten Taisei to unleash a bolt of lightning on the entire cluster.  
  
"That's it! Everyone, try to time your attacks so that you hit all of the heads at once!" she advised, ducking as one of them tried to swing at her. "Striking one at a time will only leave us vulnerable!"   
  
"Everyone, listen to Queen! Only use attacks that can hit multiple enemies! If you need more SP, just call out to me!" Their leader motioned to their support team, and they began digging through the supplies, readying a stack to be tossed out whenever Joker needed them.   
  
Biting her lip, she studied the screeching beast, timing its movements. "Anat!" She could feel the steady hum rumble through her as the air began to heat up, her mask blazing. _Focus._ The heads were swarming rapidly in different directions, swinging this way and that in an attempt to confuse their attackers, but she thought she was beginning to pick out which one was the leader, moving a moment before the others and making sure they followed. _If I aim for that one, the rest of the blasts will disperse to hit the rest!  
  
_ Taking aim, she'd taken a deep breath, ready to unleash her attack. Just as Anat began to rush forwards though, her train of thought shifted, derailing as her bladder throbbed to remind her of her other battle. _Don't think about that right now!_ She'd hurriedly snapped her attention back to the monster towering over her, glancing between head to head as she tried to track the one she'd picked out before. _No! Which one was it?  
  
_ That distraction, no matter how quick, had served to be enough to throw her Persona off course, and the blast of nuclear energy landed off to the side, grazing half of the heads and leaving a smoldering table on the floor.   
  
"Queen, you missed!?! Pull it together next time!" Mona had yowled out. _  
  
Easy for him to say from the sidelines. _ she thought, gritting her teeth. She'd nail Ooe next time though, as soon as she had an opening. She just needed to block this out, focus on what really mattered... _  
  
_ "It's time to chop you up!" Noir's call had brought her attention back to the battle at hand as pinks and violets swirled through the air of the battlefield, bringing the monster to the floor with a dizzy thump. _Of course a Psy attack would be effective! A creature with that many heads would be bound to get confused!_ "Everyone, let's make him suffer!"   
  
She ran after the others as they began to encircle the beast, pulling out their weapons. Her vicious knuckles slid on easily enough, but she found her stride began to lose its balance as she closed in on their target, her legs awkwardly moving to run closer together as her abdomen throbbed from her movements. The result was a strike that was less than satisfactory, her weapons grazing the skin rather than plunging in to draw blood like the cruel attacks surrounding her. Thankfully, the others hadn't seemed to notice, too busy retreating as Ooe screamed and thrashed at them.  _  
  
Pull it together!   
_  
Something bashed her from behind then, a heavy weight that knocked the breath from her as she fell to the floor. Even with her thick armor, it had still left her back stinging, and she heard Joker call her codename as she struggled to regain her bearings. The moment she got onto her hands and knees she was forced to bite back a gasp as her bladder screeched, feeling especially heavy and throbbing after the direct impact of landing on her stomach. It was slow going pushing herself back up to stand, and the moment she was on her feet she found herself bouncing back and forth on her toes, able to cover her desperate movements to quell the urge with a motivated battle stance. Thank goodness she had a habit of doing that anyways when she was especially fired up, or the others surely would have questioned it. But they simply nodded at her once they saw she was standing, Skull and Noir readying their next attacks.  
  
"You took a pretty strong hit." Joker murmured, slinking up to her while the other two were distracting Ooe. "Do you want to swap out with one of the others and rest for a while?"   
  
She had to admit, the offer was tempting. All of this running around, the constant ducking and dodging...it seemed to be making the pressure worse and worse...  
  
_No._ She was the one who hadn't managed to secure the letter with conversation alone. She couldn't stand by and let them do all of the work. She could manage this. She could still battle.   
_  
And after what he said about Kobayakawa...Even if he did some things, he was still...in the end, he..._  
  
"I'm staying in." She tensed her muscles, glaring at the creature with renewed vigor.   
  
"Alright. You need to heal though. Mona!" he called, holding up a gloved hand to catch the item as it was chucked over. "Here, I'll guard you until you get it down."  
  
~~~  
  
Despite her burning dislike of the monster they were fighting, she never did manage to get herself into the usual flow of combat. Time and time again, she'd lunged and bashed and blasted the creature, but only about half of her attacks were landing with the force and calculation they needed. The rest kept scraping by, damaging but not _lethal,_ her focus getting tugged further and further away as she struggled to move, struggled to maintain her balance and keep her mental state uncluttered. Anat couldn't hear her orders if a barrage of unrelated thoughts kept getting in the way, couldn't aid her in the ways she needed, but it was difficult to focus on anything without the constant reminder of her own increasing discomfort filling her mind. She was lucky that Skull was too busy blasting away with his own Persona to notice anything, and that Noir and Joker had started putting all of their concentration into tag-team blasts with their own Psy abilities. The support team had stopped scrutinizing the rest of the battle in favor of oohing and awing over how 'cool' the pair was, and finally, _finally,_ the monster had collapsed, black and scarlet ooze gushing out of each severed opening to stain the carpet, a gruesome bouquet of necks being all that remained.  
  
She let out a soft huff as they began moving to regroup with the others by the piano, the letter held triumphantly in Joker's hand. Sweat had beaded along her face, and she was sure her cheeks were flushed as well, but she was much more concerned about keeping her tired legs moving, no matter how badly she wanted to cross them.   
  
~~~  
  
Alright. One letter of recommendation down. They knew where to go now, so the rest should be smooth sailing (no pun intended). At least, that was what she tried to force herself to believe, because if she were to believe the more realistic idea of how the rest of this was going to go, she might lose hope entirely.  
  
The realistic part of her was proven right a few hallways later, when without any warning, the entire group found themselves in a rather unconventional situation, even by Palace standards. In a puff of smoke, the room had become as tall as a skyscraper, the Shadows had become hulking giants, and she...she was hopping around from foot-to-foot, feeling like she was absolutely going to _explode._  
  
The urge finally settled back to a dull throbbing after another minute, and she came to realize a problem that probably should have been her priority. She was a mouse. They were _all_ mice.  
  
They still had their masks, but besides that, they were (very embarrassingly) unclothed. It made sense, she supposed, but given how vulnerable she felt already in her...condition, she really didn't appreciate the extra exposure.   
  
Oh goodness. She certainly wouldn't be able to cross her legs like this. Or do much of anything besides crawl around.  
  
At least there was one blessing. She hadn't completely lost control the moment they transformed, so that must mean the volume of liquid had changed in proportion with the rest of her. It would be manageable. _Extremely_ uncomfortable, but manageable, as long as she was careful and kept her focus. With this in mind, she pricked her ears and settled on her hind legs to listen as Joker chittered his orders.  
  
Don't use doors, and avoid Shadows at all costs.  
  
Perhaps that was for the better. She definitely couldn't fight like this, not when she'd had enough trouble with Ooe!  
  
Her optimism had faded the moment they began crawling through a vent. One would think it would have been easier in this form, but at least as a human she'd been able to squeeze her thighs together. Instead, she was pressed with her stomach nearly flat against the floor, and constantly being kicked or stepped on by the rest of their rodent pack. Running in one at a time would have been far more efficient, but Futaba and Haru had gotten spooked by an approaching Shadow right after Joker had crawled in, and suddenly everyone had made a mad dash for the small opening. Each movement had sent her bladder shrieking, and as soon as she'd clawed and squirmed her way out into the new room she'd ducked off to the side, taking a moment to pull her tail up between her legs, holding it in place with her front paws while the others were still fighting and screeching at each other to escape the pile-up. The small bit of pressure barely seemed to help, the urge continuing to nag at her just as strongly.  
  
_You can hold it..._  
  
The corner of the carpet was beginning to seem _unbelievably_ tempting...  
  
_Get ahold of yourself, for goodness sakes!_ she thought, shaking her head in revulsion. She wasn't an animal-well, not in spirit! Besides, the others would be out of the vent at any moment! Joker was insisting they all stay close, so she'd never be able to slip off. And even putting all of that aside, she just couldn't do something like that in someone's _mind!_ Morgana had made that point very clear, several times over.  
  
Shuffling uncomfortably, she released her tail and got back down onto all fours, trotting back to the vent just as the group finally began tumbling out, their leader soon beckoning them over to investigate an intriguing golden statue.  
  
~~~  
  
If she hadn't been motivated enough to take down Shido before, _she sure as hell was now._  
  
Whatever kind of sick monster kept puzzles like _that_ in his subconscious deserved to be punished...  
  
Endless vents and backtracking, looping through mazes and frantically turning statues on and off, all while running from Shadows, only to end up swapping between human and mouse over and over (and going through the constant shock of her bladder expanding or tightening)...it was all she could do not to dance around now that she had proper legs again, although as soon as everyone had turned the corner she had to take a moment to cross her legs and rub her thighs together, moaning under her breath.   
  
There better not be any more of those mazes in future areas, or she might end up soaking the carpet regardless...  
_  
Don't think like that! You're just making it worse!_  
  
But really, she was beginning to doubt it could get any worse. She already felt like she had a whole bundle of water balloons in her abdomen, each precariously close to bursting open and spilling-  
  
"Hang on Joker, our strategist is missing!" Mona's meow rang out from up ahead.  
  
"Oh yeah! Queen, hurry your butt up! We're waitin' on ya'!"  
  
Biting her lip at Skull's impatient call, she straightened up, striding carefully to turn the corner. "My apologies, I was just catching my breath. What's our next objective?"  
  
"According to Oracle, we'll be having a pool party." Yusuke mused, leaning against a shimmering door. Oh thank goodness, a Safe Room! Perhaps she could convince Joker to let them stop here for the day.  
  
"Everyone's stats seem to be pretty high, so unless anyone has objections, I say we blow through this area while we can." Joker stated, nodding at Futaba as she closed her navigation screens. Before she could even find her words, a chorus had erupted.  
  
"Hell yeah, let's check out some chicks in bikinis! Oh, and get closer to beatin' that asshole!"  
  
"My axe is certainly itching to behead some more Shadows! Ready when you are, Joker!~"  
  
"I'll never forgive him for what he did to you...let's get that signature, and then burn the place down!"  
  
Yusuke, Morgana, and Futaba seemed just as fired up, readying themselves to supply backup. All of them were so determined, ready to throw everything they had into this mission...all for _the one person_ who'd done _so much_ to save all of them. She...she couldn't be the one person whining to leave. The one person putting everything on pause, crushing the boosted morale, preventing Akira from obtaining the thing he needed to _finally_ gain some true justice...  
  
He'd...He'd fought in a deadly arena, all by himself, just for her and her sister. He'd been drugged, beaten, locked up, nearly _killed..._ all for the team's sake. Compared to that sort of suffering...what was this?  
  
She hadn't been giving a hundred percent today. She needed to step it up.  
  
_I can endure for at least one more signature, just so we can make some decent headway. After that, I'll politely suggest for us to return for the day. Everyone will likely be weakened enough to agree by then...We'll need to make another supply run soon anyways, as quickly as we've been burning through them.  
  
_ Her new determination gave her the strength to stride towards the door away from the coveted Safe Room. "What are we waiting for? Let's get that second letter, Joker!"  
  
~~~  
  
Determination may have given her the resolve to lead the way into this room, but it wasn't quite enough to help her block out the _horrific_ effect her surroundings were having on her.   
  
The smell of chlorine in the air was so strong that she was beginning to feel ill, if only because she was already so uncomfortable. Every step they took was accompanied by the sound of thin puddles being stepped in, and while the patrons weren't childish enough to splash around much (which she was certainly grateful for), every time one of them did climb in and out of one of the pools or swam around, she was forced to listen to that much more water sloshing and dripping. One masked woman walked past them while they were scouting for a group of people to talk to, and she was pretty sure the only reason the group hadn't noticed her suddenly cross her legs when she heard the pattering of water dripping from her swimsuit was because Ryuji had made a crass remark about the woman's form, and the others had immediately swarmed him with exasperated reprimands or reminders of their mission.   
  
In fact, the longer they had to wander around the area, the more and more impossible she was finding it to keep her composure. She was constantly nibbling her lip to avoid any whines or groans slipping out, keeping her legs pressed together whenever they stopped for the briefest moment, and walking was _so demanding_ with the constant pressure between her legs and no way to ease it. She was trying her best to keep her gaze anywhere besides the massive, taunting bodies of water and dripping people, but there wasn't much else to look at, especially when the wet tile floor was an even worse sight.   
  
_Just stay calm for long enough to speak with the man! You may have had to fight Ooe, but if you remain diplomatic enough this time, perhaps we can get the letter more quickly! No fighting, no trouble! Just a quick talk and some schmoozing!  
_  
She was beginning to doubt she was going to be very capable of talking, unless she wanted the first words out of her mouth to be a desperate plea for directions to the restroom. She was having trouble thinking of which questions to ask to even find their target, and for the most part Joker and Oracle seemed to be doing the interrogating of the pool guests so far.   
  
_Suck it up! This is for Joker, and the rest of the world! Just ignore it and contribute!_  
  
Trying her best not to shudder as a man came sliding out of the pool nearby, she squeezed her thighs together against the throbbing, then took a deep breath (bad idea, _very bad idea)_ and began striding over to him. They needed some leads, and she was going to get them, damn it!  
  
~~~  
  
"Queen-chan, are you alright?"  
  
"What's wrong? It's just us girls here, and we've already seen you in a bikini before. Are you nervous about the plan? Because my acting skills have gotten a lot better, so you don't have to worry about-"  
  
"I-It's, um, it's not that...I just..." Oh goodness, what on earth was she supposed to do here? She really didn't think she'd be able to avoid blowing their cover if she went out towards the pool again in her current state! She'd be too distracted to speak with their target, and she certainly couldn't pose in any sort of alluring way when her thighs kept gluing together. Not to mention the dark colour and thick material of her costume was the only thing she could count on to spare her if things...got worse. If she put on something that thin and revealing and lost any _ounce_ of control...Oh, she really couldn't bear to think about that. Not to mention showing any part of her swollen abdomen would be the equivalent of holding up a neon sign announcing what her problem was!  
  
"Hey, um, Queen? Seriously, what's wrong?" She hadn't even realized she'd placed a hand over her mouth, half-biting on the knuckles while she'd been spiraling in her thoughts, but Ann's hand on her shoulder brought her back into awareness. Hurriedly letting her hand drop back to her side, she straightened her posture and took a breath, ready to tell them that she was fine, that they could turn around while she changed and then they'd go on with the plan. She'd find a way to power through.  
  
Instead, the second she inhaled she ended up losing the air in a gasp as her bladder spasmed, pain ramming through her sharply as she leaned against the fitting room wall, hunching over despite her fight to stay upright. _It's so much worse. Fuck, it's so much worse!_ Her heart was hammering in her chest as she trembled, struggling to avoid bouncing around or clutching herself like she so desperately wanted to do.  
  
"Queen-chan, you're shivering! Are you ill?"  
  
"Seriously, you look like you're in pain! Please tell us what's going on! Noir and I can heal you, or I could go see what supplies Joker has!"  
  
"That won't help! J-Just _be quiet_ for a moment, both of you!" She hadn't meant to snap, but it was hard enough to deal with her own body shrieking at her, let alone the two other voices asking a barrage of questions that actually required her to focus. She had to clench her eyes shut, biting her lip and struggling to regulate her breathing while she held still. It took another minute for the urge to lighten even slightly, and she forced herself to straighten up, wincing as her nether-regions continued to burn and ache with her movements. She couldn't move her thighs apart as she glanced at them, guilt immediately churning in her stomach when she saw the fear and hurt on her friends' faces. It was difficult to tell if they were still afraid _for_ her, or if they were actually afraid _of_ her now.  
  
"I...I-I apologize, I sh-shouldn't have...neither of you deserved that, I j-just..." Her face was heating up, but she was more concerned with the lump forming in her throat as she glanced away, twisting her fingers together before she ended up reaching to toy with her scarf instead. "I-I can't go out there..." she squeaked out, each word sticking in her throat, her tone turning into pleading as she lost any pretense of dignity. She was so desperate now that she couldn't think of anything else, and she knew that there was no possibility of carrying out the plan without her messing things up. "I-I'm sorry, b-but I _can't!"_ Another shudder ran through her body, and she wanted to cry. They'd come so far, and she was going to force everyone to wait, to give up right when they'd found their shot at the next signature. What if something changed between now and the next visit? They had no way of predicting that he would be here again, that this idea of Ryuji's would work any other time except for right now.  
  
Ohhh, but there was no way she could hold it for that much longer. She was already in worse shape than she could remember being in any other time in her life, even counting one excruciating Advanced Placement Exam where she'd made the mistake of chugging canned coffees beforehand, or that time she'd had to switch trains three times on a trip and there'd been delays on each one. No, she _really couldn't wait anymore,_ not for any longer than a mad dash out of here.  
  
"Hey, hey! Queen, please, it's okay! It's okay, just breathe! _Breathe!"_ The blonde looked like she was at a loss, hovering near her with her hands half-raised. Haru didn't have the same hesitation, reaching around to pull her into a hug before she could move. She found her face buried against Noir's cravat, and her breath hitched as she tried to squirm out of the taller girl's grip.   
  
"H-Haru, let me go!" She hadn't even realized she'd broken the codename rule until it was already out of her mouth. Damn it! Yet another unnecessary risk she'd caused them!  
  
"Queen-chan, please, just stay still for a moment! Once you relax, we can discuss things. Just take a moment, feel my comforting embrace..."  
  
"N-No, Noir, I mean it! Please, you have to let me go!" She was being held too tightly, and it was getting more painful by the second as she writhed around in her peer's arms. She didn't have time to wait around here, she had to leave! They had to get out of here before she-  
  
"I'm not sick, a-and I didn't get hurt in battle! I-I just... _ah,_ I-I..." Another spasm forced a whimper out of her.   
  
"Noir, I think this is just making it worse. Let go of her, okay?"  
  
Haru did as Ann asked, and the second she was free she ended up rocking on her heels, biting her lip harder until it bled. The pain didn't do much to distract her. "We h-have to leave the palace, _pl-please..."  
  
_ Ann's eyebrows furrowed, but she nodded slowly. "Okay...If that's what you want, I'll ask Joker. But can you please tell us why? You're really freaking us out here..."  
  
"I've never seen you act like this, it's truly worrisome!"  
  
She didn't want to tell them. She couldn't even bear the thought of saying it out loud! But she really wasn't sure how much longer it would be before she would have to resort to more embarrassing measures of holding it, and there would be no hiding her true dilemma then. Whining in the back of her throat, she nodded, looking down at the floor while she motioned for them to both come closer. Once they'd both leaned in, she whispered it as fast as she could while still making sure the words were understandable (because _the last thing on earth_ she wanted was to have to repeat it). Shifting her weight uneasily, she ducked her head, unable to look them in the eyes.   
  
"Oh, you poor thing! Why didn't you tell us sooner?"  
  
"It'll be okay. Wait here with Noir for a minute, I'll go tell Joker we need a change of plans." Before she could even respond, Ann was leaping off from the ground to cling against the wall, pink boots kicking as she clawed her way back up to the air vent. Once she'd found her purchase, she'd slipped inside, the tail of her costume vanishing from sight as dull clunking signaled her exit.  
  
Unsure what else to do, she stepped a few paces away from Noir, resting her back against the wall and clasping her hands together, refusing to meet the other junior's gaze as she stood stiffly. It should have helped, to finally have her plight be known so that she wouldn't have to struggle to hide it, wouldn't have to worry anymore about how much longer this mission was going to go on. But instead it was just an elephant in the room, and the very knowledge that her friends would know _exactly_ what was wrong had her stomach churning. They'd be watching every movement of hers now, checking in with awkward questions, shielding her from the Shadows because she was clearly no longer in any condition to fight...it was just so mortifying. She didn't want to be coddled, and she didn't want to slow the group down either. They weren't going to view her as an _asset,_ but _a liability,_ all for something so easily preventable-  
  
Her abdomen contracted again and she couldn't help the swear word that slipped from her lips, hissed with pure vitriol as she hunched over and crossed her legs, her hands lunging down to grip her knees. How on earth was she supposed to walk all the way back out to the entrance? Even if they fast travelled in a few places, the palace was still massive, and... _fuck,_ her teeth were practically _floating...  
  
_ "You know, perhaps it would help if you were to grab yourself in that area?"  
  
Her body temperature raised so quickly that she half-expected to suddenly summon one of the fire spells Panther was always using. "I-I...Noir, I c-can't just! I-I mean, th-that's!" Her voice was slipping into the squeak of the literal mouse she'd been during that hellish maze, and she sputtered, glancing over at Haru with pure bewilderment.  
  
_Who just outright says something like that?!? It's already such an indecent action, and she's supposed to be dignified!  
  
_ "I-I'll be alright without resorting to s-something like that!" she hissed, although her voice wavered so much that she was quite sure her statement wouldn't carry any weight. It was already embarrassing enough to be seen squirming around like this, there was no way she was going to do something that drastic! She wasn't a child, she was nearly in college!   
  
"There isn't any reason for you to feel shame, especially around us! This sort of thing is perfectly normal, and it could happen to anyone in the group! None of us will judge you for doing whatever makes you more comfortable until we escape this place."  
  
Trying to bite back her irritation (why wouldn't Haru just drop it?), she nodded, simply squeezing her crossed legs tighter. "I, um, I-I appreciate the sentiment, b-but really, I'll be alright..."   
  
"I know you're one of the toughest of us, but everyone needs assistance sometimes! Please, don't make yourself suffer just for the sake of pride-"  
  
"I-I said I'll be alri-ight!" The voice crack was a clear contradiction to her words as she pulled her arms back up to cross in front of her chest, her slim frame shaking all over, but she refused to argue further, glaring at the floor instead. Or at least, attempting to glare. It was hard to feel pure anger when her eyes were burning with the tears she was struggling to hold back.   
  
"I-I'm sorry, I...I shouldn't have pushed." Haru whispered, stepping towards her with the grace and caution of a fawn. "You know yourself and your own needs best, I'm sure... Just know that I'm here, if you require any additional support. Alright?" She felt a hand land on her shoulder, the touch feather-light, as if it was ready to abandon its perch at a moment's notice.   
  
"Thank you. I just...I-I just want all of this to be over..." she murmured, grimacing.  
  
"I know...But you'll get through this. I believe in you!"  
  
~~~  
  
Ann had returned a few minutes later to retrieve them, and after some incredibly awkward (and downright torturous) crawling through the vents, they'd made it back out. She tried to maintain some semblance of strength as they walked over to the rest of the group (no matter how badly she was shaking or how gingerly she had to step). However, before they'd even arrived, she heard voices drifting around the corner from where the others had moved to escape the cognitive crowd.  
  
"I'm just sayin', do we really gotta waste a whole day of infiltration just 'cuz Miss Prez needs a potty break?!?"  
  
"That's funny, Skull. I seem to recall a day in my ment-pardon, _Madarame's_ palace when you were quite upset to find out that the restrooms were unusable."  
  
"Heh-Heh! What about that time we were in Mementos and you had to take one of the old soda cans and-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, fine, I get it! I guess I can't rag on her for _that,_ exactly, but can't we just...like, take her to the exit and let her leave on her own? We're seriously runnin' outta time here! She ain't the only good fighter! We could all stay behind and get the rest of the sig-"  
  
_"That's enough."_ She recognized the hiss of Joker's voice, clear despite its relatively soft volume. "We come in as a team, and we leave as a team. _No exceptions."_  
  
"Tch! Bet'cha if it was _anyone else_ he wouldn't be so-"  
  
_"I can still hear you._ I understand we're all tense, but remember that _I'm_ the leader here. I've already made preparations for possible delays. We'll be back on track tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, quiet Skull! Joker knows what he's doing!" Mona huffed. "Besides, the impeccable Queen has been _crucial_ to our success in past Palaces. We need her. Now, _you,_ we probably could do without..."  
  
"Hey, both of you zip it! My sensors are picking up an incoming party!"   
  
"Ah yes, here they come. My, she really is walking strangely..."  
  
She kept her eyes on the floor for the last few steps until she reached the others, aware of Noir's guiding hand on her back. Panther had been striding ahead, whip held tightly as she kept watch for any surprise enemies, but now that they'd reached their destination she stood off to the side.  
  
"I..." After finding the courage to glance up, she'd felt the need to apologize in person to the rest of her teammates, but the words seemed to die in her throat. Ryuji was clearly still a bit annoyed, rolling his eyes before he turned to wait for orders. Futaba and Mona both looked anxious, staring up at her with wide eyes before pretending to be busy, and Yusuke...well, it was always a bit difficult to tell with him. He seemed to be more interested in studying her body language than anything.   
  
She'd met Joker's gaze for a moment, but after a slight nod of his head he'd glanced away to unfold his map. It was probably for the best. She was far too mortified to speak much to him anyways.  
  
"This palace is too big and too well-guarded for our usual fast travel method. We won't be able to teleport from this Safe Room to the exit immediately. We'll have to leap from here back to the hotel rooms, and then sneak out from there to the deck."  
  
"Wait, Joker, what about that one device?" Haru pointed out, stepping away to peer up at their leader. "The, um, Go-Pro...or something?"  
  
"You mean the Goho-M? Sorry, I used the last one when we had to escape The Reaper during our Mementos run..." he murmured, casting her an apologetic glance that made her face flush. "I'll make sure to craft plenty of spares when I have the chance."  
  
Wonderful. Now she was simply piling more work on him, just to prepare for a mistake that shouldn't have been made.  
  
"It's fine, J-Joker! Let's, um, l-let's just go with your plan..." _Preferably right now, instead of standing around talking..._ She hated the obvious impatient plea in her voice, but she couldn't help shifting her weight now, staring at the path ahead. If she didn't think it would be too much of a risk to her control (and if there weren't, say, deadly Shadows lurking everywhere), she would have bolted already, each passing second wasted only seeming to make her more desperate.  
  
"Everyone, stay close, and don't pick extra fights. Skull, Mona, Panther, I want the three of you on the Main Party with me. Noir, Fox, Queen, stick with Oracle for backup. Oracle, make sure to give us the shortest route back to the deck once we jump from the Safe Room."  
  
"Got it! Speedrun mode is a-go!"  
  
~~~  
  
They managed to slink back out to the Safe Room relatively easily, all things considered. She'd had to sit down the moment they'd entered though, crossing her legs tightly while she waited for Mona to cast a group healing spell and for Joker to prepare their teleportation with the Metaverse app. The minutes seemed to crawl by, and despite herself she ended up hunching over with a moan, toying with a pen on the desk before she traded it for tugging on her scarf again.   
  
"Geez, you look miserable. Ya' must be real close to bustin' after all, huh?"  
  
Ryuji had hopped up to sit on the actual table, despite the fact that there was a perfectly empty seat to her right. She glanced the other way, tucking her hair behind her ear as she squirmed in her chair. She really wasn't comfortable talking to anyone right now, much less someone like him...  
  
"Hey, uh...how much of our conversation did you hear? I'm guessin' I got loud enough for my voice to carry past all the fakes, right?"  
  
For a moment, she considered snapping something at him, giving him a real piece of her mind for his remarks earlier. But...she really wasn't angry at him, actually...she didn't hate that he'd actually suggested leaving her out while they went on with the mission. She hated that he was _right,_ that it had been a solid plan, that...that she would be _more useful_ by being _absent_ for the rest of an infiltration. "He should have listened to you...I-I shouldn't- _ah_ , be slowing you a-all down like this..." she mumbled, jiggling her top leg as she stole a quick glance at Mona. Why did his magic have to take _so long?  
_  
"Yeah, maybe, but...actually, it probably wasn't that great an idea. I mean, I guess it'd be pretty unfair if you suggested ditchin' me, y'know? Joker's right, we're s'posed to stick together. Plus, ya' kick ass, and we'd be in trouble if somethin' real big attacked us..." Rubbing the back of his neck, he turned to look the other way. "Sorry for bein' a tool. I know ya' wouldn't wimp out of a mission like this unless it was, like, a real legit problem."  
  
The sentiment was nice, but it still stung. She really was 'wimping out' of this, wasn't she? Unsure how to accept his apology without berating herself further for holding the group back, she held her tongue, giving him the slightest nod of acknowledgement to let him know she'd at least heard. Before Ryuji could try to say anything more, Joker had spoken up.  
  
"Alright, everyone prepare yourselves. Three...two...one..."  
  
There was nothing but red and black surrounding them for a moment, and then a nearly-identical room came into focus, the only indicator they'd moved a slight jolt as they landed in their spots. It was not a welcome feeling to have her crotch dropped onto the chair, everything in her abdomen seeming to bounce with a sharp twinge that forced her to gasp before it settled.  
  
"Everyone, up and in your positions. We'll be walking from here on..."  
  
~~~  
  
"You know, when I'm struggling for the sake of my art while painting for hours, I've found it helps to picture dry things, like sprawling deserts or saltine crackers. Perhaps such a tactic will aid you as well?"  
  
She highly doubted thinking of crackers would help by this point. She'd already tried thinking of a variety of things, and none of them seemed to be distracting enough to chase away the constant, all-consuming tidal wave that was sloshing around inside of her. Nevertheless, he was trying his best to assist her.  
  
"Er...th-thank you, Yusuke. I'll keep that in mind..." she managed to gasp out, crossing her legs again as they hid around a corner.   
  
"It's just a few straight shots down these halls, then we'll hit the big entryway with all those staircases." Futaba reported, leaning over to show her the highlighted sections of the screen. "Once we get past that place, we'll be home free!"  
  
It still seemed like a long way to walk, especially with all of those stairs...  
  
"I'm, er...I'm sorry you're going through this...I've been there, s-so I know it sucks..." Futaba mumbled, casting her a quick look of sympathy before she was called forward to help Joker scout which hallway to take next.  
  
Wringing her hands together and trying not to stop too frequently as they began walking to the left, she kept her gaze on the carpet. Deep down, she'd come to enjoy thinking of herself as a sort of mentor and older sister to Futaba...and yet, here she was, setting such a wretched example.  
_  
You're supposed to be better than this...  
_  
~~~  
  
Joker poked his head around the corner of the stair railing, studying the canine shape. "If we try to sneak past it, we might get jumped. We're going to have to take it out. Stay here, okay? We'll make it quick." Beckoning to his three current battle companions, Joker darted out and tackled the Shadow, leaving her hiding with Noir and Fox.  
  
She'd tried to keep watch on the battle at first, just in case she needed to call out some advice about the Shadows and their weaknesses, but her thoughts kept scattering as soon as she compiled them, sharp throbs of pain continually distracting her. Biting back a whimper, she gave up, ducking back into their cover and shifting to sit on her heel (well, more like grinding against it for dear life, actually). Hadn't they fought enough Shadows on the way in to begin with? The way out should have been clear! She knew that wasn't how things worked, of course, but it was hard not to be frustrated when she was _so-_  
  
"Queen, are you ready to move on?"  
  
Joker's quiet voice and light touch on the shoulder startled her from her thoughts, and she opened her eyes (when had she even screwed them shut?). "U-Um, yes...l-let's um, g-get a move on..." Trying to compose herself, she uncurled her form agonizingly slowly, standing with as much care as if a bomb would explode upon any mistake. Although, frankly, that didn't feel far from the truth. As soon as she'd taken her heel away the urge had increased tenfold, and for a moment she'd sworn she was going to lose something. Shuddering as she squeezed her thighs together for a moment, she eventually nodded at Joker, and he began leading the group forward.  
  
"We simply have to get through one more floor and set of staircases, isn't that good news?" Haru whispered, slowing her pace to match her own painstaking steps. "We're almost there, and you're doing great! Just hang in there..." Her friend's encouragement was appreciated (although it felt slightly patronizing), but all she could do in response was nod as she kept limping down the stairs, both hands clinging to one side of the golden railing so that they wouldn't be tempted to cling to anything else.   
_  
You're almost there, you're almost there...  
_  
She really wished she could move faster, just bolt out of the Palace and hop around as much as she needed to, but any motion she made was already feeling like she was teetering on the edge, pausing every few steps to let the urge settle before she started climbing down again. No, the last thing she needed was to rush and trip down these stairs. _That_ would be _a disaster._

Step after gingerly step, she crept down, taunted all the while by _that bastard's_ voice, his campaign speech blaring through the air from the speakers in a maddening loop...Over and over, like a broken record of her shortcomings today...

  
~~~  
  
Finally reaching those large doors had been an absolute blessing after so much walking, and for a moment she'd felt a flare of hope in her chest. That flare soon died as she saw what was behind them though, and Makoto froze in place as the very entrance of _hell_ appeared before her.  
  
It was irrational and pointless to stand here wasting what dwindling time she still had left when nothing out there could hurt her, but the rolling ocean and salty spray as the ship sailed on might as well have been lava and flying embers for all she could bring herself to move forward. It was the perfect representation of the volume she felt like she was holding back at this very moment, and the mere sight of all that liquid had sent her bladder throbbing and contracting with newly frantic wav- _oh fuck why did she have to think about waves?_  
  
Her breath hitched as she felt a rush of moist heat between her legs, pooling around the most sensitive area before running down her thighs. _No, it can't be-_ A strangled gasp managed to slip past her lips as she began writhing where she stood, crossing her legs a few different ways and struggling to grasp herself through the thick, tightly-bound material of her suit, all sense of dignity forgotten in her effort to prevent something even worse from happening. She finally managed to clench her muscles and stop the leak after some desperate clawing at her crotch, but she could barely bring herself to breathe now, every slight movement filling her with the fear that she was going to lose control again. She could feel how hard she was trembling now, and she had to blink back the tears that tried to well up in her eyes as she realized the entirety of the group was staring at her.  
  
_I joined them so I wouldn't be helpless anymore, so I could take control of myself..._  
  
And here she was instead, completely at the mercy of something that could have been easily avoided, and they were all looking at her and _this was all just so humiliating-_  
  
"Mako-er, _Queen..."_ The others were still lingering near the exit, but Joker had made his way back over to stand in front of her. Besides that quick slip of the tongue, he looked and sounded as cool and collected as usual, the utter opposite of her complete lack of composure. But she did notice a glimmer of concern in his eyes behind the mask as he continued to speak. "Would it help if I carried you?"  
  
A massive cramp of urgency rolled through her then, her bladder nearly voiding itself _right that second_ from shock when she processed what he'd just said. Trying to hop in place to quell the urge (an impossible movement to accomplish when she was currently twisted into a knot), she stared at him, her mouth dangling open and soundless. He...he was going to carry her? But the only position that would probably work would be _bridal-style,_ and that was just...They would be in front of everyone, and on any other day it would have been embarrassing, but in her current scenario it would be downright  _childish_ -oh goodness _what if she lost control while he was holding her?_  
  
That thought had her squeezing herself tighter as her nether regions burned and throbbed though, an insistent reminder that she was about to lose it _here_ if she didn't do _something!_  
  
"If you think it'd be easier by yourself, that's fine, I just thought I'd offer-"  
  
"Y-You, um, you can c-carry me!" she gasped out, her face flushing so hot she wouldn't have been surprised if the skin actually melted off. "Just...h-hurry, _please..."_ The pulses weren't ceasing anymore, every ounce of her body nagging for her to give up and release. She barely managed to straighten upright to give Akira room to grab her properly, curling back into a squirming ball the second it felt like his grip was firm. "I-I'm so sorry I'm making you do this..." she whispered into his ear, clawing at herself and trying to figure out how to cross her legs.   
  
"Don't apologize, it isn't your fault. And I _offered_ to do this. Just try to hang in there..."  
  
She _was_ trying, she was trying _so_ _desperately..._  
  
"Oracle, bring us out! Everyone get ready!" Joker called out the order before they even reached the rest of the group, finally forcing all of their friends to stop watching her and focus on the task at hand. Gratefully, she rested her head against his chest, half-praying she could sink into the material of his coat and just turn invisible.  
  
Her eyes were clenched shut as another wave of pain coursed through her swollen abdomen, but if she had opened them she was sure they'd have been surrounded by the red and black swirls of the Metaverse.  
  
She was greeted by the sight of the city mere moments later, her eyelids startled open when she abruptly pitched forward, Akira muttering apologies under his breath. "Sorry, sorry! Stumbled a bit when we landed!" He regained his balance, his hand shifting along her thigh in ways that sent her ears and neck blazing as he tried to adjust his grip. A light breeze did nothing to ease her pink skin, but it _did_ send fabric ruffling enough to make her heart stop as the air rushed against her unmentionable area. The cool sensation had another burst of warm liquid flowing between her legs before she could stop it, and it ran through her fingers a second later. The tough leather and spandex of her suit had at least kept it in her pants, but now that she was back in a skirt and thin black tights it was even harder to hold it, teasing rivulets running along bare skin or soaking into socks. It was starting to drip onto the pavement too, the pitter-pattering of what bits ran off of her clearly audible as they fell from her clothing.  
  
"Akira, p-put me down, _please!"_ She was writhing now, panic breaking her voice and those tears trying to well up once again. She couldn't wet herself in the middle of the street, not in public, not in front of her friends, and _certainly not when she was still in his arms.  
  
_ _It hurts! I have to get somewhere!_  
  
To his credit, Akira didn't drop her, managing to set her on her feet even when she'd made that difficult with her erratic movements. Once standing she squirmed in place, clutching herself and hunching for all she was worth, well aware of the anxious gazes boring into her from the circle of teenagers (and a cat). She couldn't cut the flow off completely this time, tiny dribbles escaping to trickle through her underwear and down her leg, but it wasn't a full leak anymore. It would buy her some time.  
  
_Think, Makoto, think!_  
  
She could hardly focus with the haze of all these sensations and pains fogging her mind, the script on signs and buildings blurring like they were a foreign language as she tried to stumble along the street (although part of that blur may have been from the water in her eyes). If she could just figure out where she was-  
  
"Mako-chan! Come on, the station is this way!"  
  
Haru had grabbed her shoulder before she could process her words, and she followed the other girl gratefully, trying to hurry as quickly as she could without bringing her legs too far apart. Yes, the station would have public restrooms, and then she could deal with her damp outfit- _oh goodness..._  
  
She couldn't find the words to communicate to Haru, only managing to emit a whimpered cry as she froze in her tracks with her knees locked together, and then doubled over as another cramp wracked her body. Her hands were getting soaked once more as urine began gushing out again, smooth and hot against her fingers. The sensation almost reminded her of testing running bathwater, except that _this liquid_ was unsanitary and made her stomach twist from the very knowledge that it was touching her. She was so tired, _her body_ was tired, but she tried to squeeze herself anyways. It stemmed the flow slightly, but it also just caused the rest to splatter against her legs or patter onto the pavement.  
  
_No, no no please, this can't be happening!_  
  
"Mako-chan, it's alright...you've done all you could." Her peer's soft voice was tempting, a gentle hand brushing the sweaty hair behind her ears as she tried to straighten up. "Please don't hurt yourself...no one will judge you for letting go."  
  
But _she_ would judge herself, _she_ would know that she'd humiliated herself in public, in front of everyone, had given up early even if there was the _slightest sliver_ of a chance that she could have made it the rest of the way. _She_ would know she was still weak after all of the hearts they'd stolen, still couldn't take command of her own future, _still_ wasn't as grown up as she wanted to be, as she was _supposed_ to be, and that was just _so-_  
  
"Yo, is everything alright over there?"  
  
Ann's voice reached her ears moments later. "Ryuji, don't just barge over! Let me handle it! Makoto, do you need some help walking?"  
  
The entire group was flocking over to catch up now, ever eager to help in any way they could (perhaps to make up for staying frozen back at the end of the Palace when she'd locked up before). They hadn't seemed to realize just how much more dire her situation had gotten, probably assuming she was just afraid to keep moving.  
  
"If Akira is too spent to carry you again, perhaps I could offer my assistance?"  
  
"Back off Inari! Can't you see this is something for _the girls_ to handle?!?"  
  
She found herself glancing away from Yusuke and Futaba, her eyes briefly meeting grey ones. Akira was lingering behind the rest of their friends, but she soon realized that he was looking...tentative, his expression full of indecision. _No..._ he always had a plan...if anyone here could save her from this mess, it was _him,_ wasn't it?  
  
_Please, Akira, you have to do something!_    
  
She was vaguely aware of her name being spoken by different voices, but she couldn't make any individual sentences out, all of the chatter blurring into loud white noise as she stared at him, desperately willing him to move, to _help her._  Her bladder crashed against straining muscles then, causing her breath to hitch in a sharp gasp as a stronger jet forced itself out from between her legs, spraying between her hands. _Please, not here! Not in front of everyone!_  
  
"I...I-I _can't..."_  
  
She'd barely forced the words out, and whether she'd meant to say that she couldn't _hold it_ or couldn't _breathe,_ she wasn't sure. All she knew was that her body was completely betraying her now. She couldn't stop the emptying reservoir, her own pee drenching her skirt and everything underneath it no matter how tightly she tried to clench her muscles, pooling on the street with a noise loud enough that it could have rivaled that of the subway. The liquid was only warm, but to her it might as well have been lava running down her still-clenched legs, scorching hot and eating away at both her flesh and her dignity. The hitching of her breath hadn't stopped, instead growing worse as she tried to keep up with the strange mix of urges running through her body. Sharp hiccups and gasps threatened to crush her lungs, only interrupted by the fractured sobs that managed to fall from her lips with hard-fought tears spilling from her eyes to match. Her legs were shaking so badly that she couldn't find her purchase anymore, and she couldn't find the energy to try clutching onto Haru before her knees buckled entirely and smacked against the wet pavement as she landed in the mess she was still making.  
  
It was too much. It was all too much and she couldn't make sense of any of it. Everything was a contradiction. She should have been feeling relief to finally go after so long, but each new rush of heat gushing from her just made her feel sore, and she still found herself trying to clench up in a last resort effort even as urine pooled around her. She kept feeling the urge to gasp or sigh, but whenever she did it was immediately swallowed up into another choke of panic as her chest tightened further, her lungs burning like shriveled balloons as she failed to regulate her breathing. Time seemed to be stretching on forever even though she knew it should only be a few minutes, and the various voices of her friends kept alternating between a dull murmur she was blocking out or a blaring rush of disorganized words she couldn't understand. Why couldn't they help her? No, why were they here? She didn't want them here, seeing her! Oh goodness, there were so many people around here. People who knew she shouldn't have been this pathetic, people who were disappointed in her, people like-  
  
She still couldn't breathe, and her vision wasn't just wavering from her flood of tears anymore. Her whole body felt like it was on fire, from the warmth that was finally slowing in its hissing between her legs, to the flush of her face and the ever-burning flames in her chest. Was she going to die here? She didn't want to die.  
  
She was stuck here, unable to move except for her chest rising and falling with uneven gasps. Stuck here in sunlight that was too bright and surrounded by too many people, people who were too loud, people who were definitely upset and probably preparing to scold her and oh what about _her,_ what would _she_ say when she found out about-  
  
Her heart was beating so quickly that it hurt, adding another stab to the sharp ache in her chest. There was no excuse for this. No matter what she could say, it wouldn't be an acceptable reason for her behavior today, for an incident that could have been prevented _so easily-_ The realization that her vision was starting to speckle black towards the edges was terrifying, no doubt caused by the fact that she was practically suffocating. But she couldn't find the words to beg for help from any of the people towering over her.  
  
Help. Who was going to help them now? They'd pulled out of the Palace for nothing, they'd fallen behind and lost _so much time_ that they weren't going to get back, couldn't replace...  
  
_Shido's going to win. We're not going to get all the letters in time, or steal the treasure, he's going to win and take over Japan and we're going to lose, we're already losing and it's all my fault, it's all my fault-_

**Author's Note:**

> Makoto sweetie I'm so sorry c':
> 
> She'll get plenty of comfort and such in the next chapter I promise it's really sweet (and unfortunately angsty because she gets to explain to the others why she put herself through so much in the first place and why she panicked so badly RIP)
> 
> Fun fact this was originally intended to be a straight up omo fic like my others (so she would have been upset ofc but not to this extent), but once I got to the wetting scene I started typing and thinking about how much stress she was under so I went back and made the rest of this worse and then sent her into her first panic attack oops
> 
> ~~~
> 
> EDIT: I did have a headcanon for my fic universe regarding why they can't pee in the Palaces, so if you're curious after reading this and want a more in-depth explanation (since Makoto and the group already knew by this point, I couldn't exactly dump a ton of information for the reader), I'll paste it here now: 
> 
> Now, physically, you CAN pee in a Palace, it’s not like there’s anything that will literally stop you if you try. But (as Mona told the og trio during Madarame’s palace in a goofy drabble I haven’t posted yet) it is EXTREMELY ILL-ADVISED to do so.
> 
> It’s true that most of the things you do within a Palace don’t translate into anything the real world’s owner would become aware of (fighting/stealing small items/interacting with other beings/etc.). However, keep in mind that these are all things that were originally created BY THE OWNER, they’re cognitive apparitions that don’t affect the actual body, and they BELONG THERE ALREADY. Stealing The Treasure ™ though, that has a heavy effect on the owner’s subconscious. Physically harming or even killing the Shadow Owner has been shown to be strong enough to cause mental shutdowns and even death. 
> 
> Now, while obviously peeing on the floor isn’t the same as shooting somebody, you’re still adding something new to the brain from an outside source that doesn’t belong there. In fact, one could argue you’re even poisoning that person by emptying a flood of toxins and waste directly into their mind (this also applies to vomiting and other things). The effects on the subconscious may not be immediate, but they WILL occur, and depending on how unstable the Palace’s Owner was already, it could be disastrous, not only affecting the Palace’s environment, but leaking into and harming their real world counterpart as well (possibly making them physically sick/depressed/aggressive/etc. It’s pretty much a grab bag of mental/behavioral issues). Safe Rooms are not exempt from this either, and soiling one directly could actually cause it to lose its protective effects and become a regular part of the Palace/an especially active spawn point for Shadows.
> 
> Mementos is still a bit of a grey area the group hasn’t quite agreed on the logistics of (it’s a hotly debated topic between them actually and they’ve all taken sides on the issue), but to be on the safe side they all try their best to avoid any incidents there. While the effects might not be as immediate or severe as a Palace (since it’s a massive group collected subconscious instead of one person), they’re pretty sure it’d still cause some sort of strange (hopefully minor) problem within the general populous.


End file.
